Definition of Family

AJ and Ben always say, “We have so many aunties and uncles!” This is because, when I become close with someone, I introduce them to my rascals as an aunt or uncle. Sometimes, AJ and Ben will ask, “Which aunties and uncles are our real ones?” My husband and I always tell them that they all are. Thinking of our own definition of family and how it may be different from other people’s definition made me want to share what exactly family means to us with our Hello Rascal Kids community.

I know the common saying is, “You can’t choose your family,” but, in my family, we do. For us, family is not defined by biological relatives. We like to think of our family as chosen, and we can add whomever we want. To me, family are the people who are always there for you. Family are the people who show up when someone is having a tough time. They’re the ones who you know you can always count on, no matter the distance or time between seeing each other.

I share this definition of family with my rascals often, and I hope that they keep this meaning of family alive and pass it on for generations to come. Right now, their family is made up of mom and dad’s circle of loved ones, but, as they grow older, they’ll create their own circle of family. As they get older, some of their friends will become family, too.

I choose to share this now because AJ is growing up faster than I could ever imagine. He’s 9 years old, and, while he’s always had his little quirks and characteristics, he’s developing his own personality and turning into his own person. Someday, he’ll be a whole new AJ. I wanted to remind my community and remind myself that our kids will turn into their own human beings and their own people, but a lot of how they turn out is what we as parents have laid in our foundation.

I’m really proud to have laid the foundation of a chosen family for my rascals, and I hope that, one day, I get to reflect and see how much my family has grown with the addition of people that AJ and Ben have chosen to add to our circle.

While this definition of family may not make sense to everyone, it’s what makes sense to us, and I’m happy to have a big, loving, ever-growing chosen family.

Written by Head Rascal (Ngoc Nguyen Lay), mother of two rascals, ages 7 and 9.